... and if you look to the left

We were married over a year ago now and though we had the chance to celebrate with friends in family in the states we never had the chance to celebrate with Joerg’s friends and family over here in Europe.  Last night we were finally able to.

We were joined by 30 friends and family at a small beach restaurant on Zandvoort, Netherlands.  We topper along the beach for 1km and ducked inside just as the rain started to downpour.  Luckily we were tucked away for the next 6 hours enjoying good food and wine and wonderful company, getting to celebrate mine and Joerg’s marriage, and, since it rolled on past midnight, my 32nd birthday. 

I was feeling sad about not having so few people there to represent my side, but my dear friend Justin spearheaded a video of birthday and marriage celebration wishes from friends all across the US, from Philadelphia to Seattle, and even some family in Senegal!  It was exactly what I needed to remember that even though I may be far from home I still have the love and support of so many as we continue this adventure of international living.

It’s been a year.  Hard to believe but we have actually ben living in Amsterdam for a full year now and it has been an amazing time of ups and downs and lots of new.

It feels funny to be reflecting on another milestone.  Eight months ago I was pondering on the change of the calendar year, in May it was a year of being unemployed, then our 1 year wedding anniversary and now the one year anniversary of our move, but I guess all those markers just go to show how much has been packed into life lately.

Let’s see, what has this year brought?

This year has been marked by a lot of travel.  An international move didn’t seem to be enough.  In the last 12 months there have been three trips back to the US, and multiple trips to Rinteln, Germany to be with family.  Also London twice, Athens twice, twice to Italy, Australia, Berlin, Crete, Mykonos, Istanbul, and several places around the Netherlands and Belgium.  It’s been one of my favorite aspects to living in Europe, there is so much of the world I have yet to experience that now seems out my front door.

And luckily a lot of people have come here.  Joerg’s mom has come to stay several times and friends like Frankie, Christian, Adrian and Matthias have come from around Europe for long weekends. Also from the US Aunt Julie and my folks each came for separate two week long trips and Erin and Em each came to stay for two weeks.  So much fun to have friends and family who have the desire and ability to come and share this part of life.

Joerg’s job has continued to go extremely well and considering that was the driving force behind our move this is a very good thing.  He is traveling even more then I am, mostly for work, but this means I spend a bit of time on my own here in A’dam.  Luckily I have made some great friends here, but beyond that I have also thrown myself into Dutch courses and as of recently I too am working.

I am working at Starbucks, go figure huh?  A seattle guy moves all the way to Amsterdam and ends up working at Starbucks.  But it has been a great place for me to keep busy where I can slowly improve my Dutch with an incredible staff.  It is called Starbucks The Bank and is a really cool Reserve store with an incredible design concept.

I have become a biker I use it every day no matter where I am going.  There are times when I am loaded down with the dry cleaning, groceries, my gym bag and fresh flowers biking through Vondel Park on my way home and I can help but laugh a little at how different day to day life looks here.  But then some things aren’t so different.

I still think about my family and friends constantly, even if the distance makes communication harder.  And luckily I still have my best friend with me navigating this adventure we are on: new marriage, new city, new jobs, new transportation and couture, but same partnership tackling it together.

Come visit.  We’ll show you windmills and loan you a bike!

Favorite part of Berlin was getting to travel with good friends.  Most impressive site was the Holocaust Memorial.  Designer Peter Eisenman describes the memorial as producing an uneasy, confusing atmosphere aiming to represent a supposedly ordered system that has lost touch with humanity.  It is immense, breathtaking and disorienting.

One of the things I most over about it though was that even within the somber reality of what it is memorializing there was still an element of play about it with people weaving in and out of the stelea and climbing over it as well.  There was something about the play in and amongst the somber remembrance which added life to the monument.

One of the most beautiful things I saw in Istanbul was the Hagia Sophia.  This amazing church was dedicated in 360 and served as a Christian Church until 1453 when it was converted into a Mosque.  In 1931 it was secularized and in 1935 opened as a museum.  Their are remnants present from all its former incarnations, unfortunately everything is in sad disrepair.

A few of the original stunning mosaics have been uncovered but all of them are extensively damaged.  Though this World Heritage Site is one of the most visited locations in Turkey very little seems to be put into restoration and preservation.

Even considering the neglect it remains a stunning piece of history and architecture with astounding views looking int and out.

One of the draw backs to living internationally is that you leave behind your support network of family and friends.  Not only do you end up living a distance away from them, but often times the time difference makes reaching out hard.

I am struggling through an essay right now which is really important to me.  It’s a broad rambling analysis of the cultural and creative fields in America and developments over the last decade.  I have lots of great information and I know what I want to say but I just need some help focusing and framing.  And I am on a dealing of course. Normally I would talk to Megan about this. Or Michael, or Em or the Pietsch’s or or or, but everyone is asleep or away.  It’s tough, we talk so often about how small the world is.  But then there are salient moments when the distance actually feels really big. When what you need more than anything else is a cup of coffee with a  friend and someone to help you organize your thoughts and everyone you’d normally get advice from is in bed.

When I was in Australia last week I had the intense pleasure of seeing Sydney Dance Company’s production of 2 One Another. It was amazing.  Definitely ranks in my top 5 dance experiences, probably even top 3 competing closely with Alvin Ailey and a stunning post 9-11 New York piece by ZviDance.

2 One Another was performed spectacularly by the company.  In particular Natalie Allen who had a solo which immediately followed after a section where all 16 dancers were on the stage at once and she was stunning, captivating the audience as fully as the entire company had.  I also really enjoyed Andrew Crawford who had duets with several different dancers and partnered beautifully and Charmene Yap, Chris Aubrey and Bernhard Knauer all stood out without pulling focus.

The design was breathtaking as well with a perfect set and costumes which felt very current without being showy. The music as well complimented throughout the piece.  The piece was influenced by the writing of Samuel Webster.  He was invited in to rehearsals to do spontaneous writing which was then in turn used to influence the continued creation of the piece.  I really love this cross disciplinary idea of mutually effecting one anthers art.  They incorporated a small amount of the text, and I would have loved more, but mostly it was just used in the creation process.

The real props here, if you are still reading, has to go to the choreographer. Sydney Dance Company’s artistic director Rafael Bonachela.  He is magnificent and if and when I have the opportunity I would love to see more of his work.  The vocabulary was unique but still fully accessible and the harassing was captivating from beginning to end.  I was tired and jet lagged so a little worried I wouldn’t be able to stay awake through the entire show, but there is no way someone could fall asleep during this performance.  The way he moved bodies through space, combining duets, trios, quartets, all the dancers at once, it was incredible.  I especially loved the way his dance had a message and a story, but refrained from being overly literal. 

Bottom line, incredible company, stellar choreographer.

When I was moving abroad I didn’t think about something like attending a funeral in a foreign culture, it just wasn’t on my radar. Now I find myself; an American, living in Holland, attending a German funeral tomorrow.

My father-in-Law passed away almost two weeks ago and certain aspects of the grieving process that has followed have felt completely foreign.  I am constantly aware of the fact that I am simultaneously part of the process and just slightly set outside. Yet even with this reality many aspects go beyond culture and are become moments of pure humanity…

Falling into laughter around the dinner table, reminiscing about Reinhard’s life…

My partner getting out of the bed in the morning stops on the edge and falls into tears…

In the back seat of the car, my left hand clasped by my Mother-in-law, she clasping the hand of her sister on the other side.

My mother-in-law holding her just deceased husbands hand and asking him why he has left her alone.

Humans. Remember a loved one. Celebrating a life while simultaneously mourning a loss. This is family and it goes hand in hand. Beyond language and cultural cues it is just presence with one another.

This past weekend my father-in-law passed away. I didn’t have the opportunity to know him long, but I had come to know and love him as a highly intelligent man who loved his family dearly.

The loss has me reflecting on the past year and all that has happened.  This is the fourth close family member to pass away in the last year.  Both my grandfather and grandmother, the parents of my father, have passed away after long individual battles with an assortment of ailments.  Also my partner’s grandfather, his mother’s father, passed away this fall. Death is such a natural part of life, and yet it is still so hard to lose over ones. Even in the midst of all these losses there has also been so much new life.

At the end of summer we welcomed two new nephews, Eben and Josiah.  The boys are healthy and have brought immense joy to the entire family.  In May my partner and I were married in Vancouver, BC.  Adding to that we also moved halfway around the world starting a grand new adventure living in Amsterdam, Netherlands and allowing us the opportunity to spend more time with the part of the family over here.  So much newness, so much that breathes life and growth.

I think this is something all the loved ones we have recently lost would focus on, life continues and we must embrace what is next. We must love and create and continue to grow and explore. And in moving forward into the world we take part of each of them with us.

So now we become the ambassadors of Reinhard’s memory as well. In knowing us, you will get to know so many wonderful pieces of him. 

This morning I was reading through Facebook updates and was surprised to see that almost every other one was about Gay Marriage.  Between reactions to the latest ruling in the legal battles over California’s Proposition 8 and Washington states recent passage of Marriage Equality, everybody seems to be talking about it.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the solidarity of my heterosexual peers, especially when self identified religious conservatives speak up in support of equal human rights for all. And I celebrate the incremental victories with my friends who currently live in a place where their love is legislated as less than. But this whole barrage has also been a wake up call to me about how fortunate I am.

Yesterday I went to an info session for an MBA program I’m looking into, when I said I was living in The Netherlands because of my husbands job no one blinked an eye.  When I stop in the pharmacy to pick up my husbands prescription the pharmacy tech couldn’t care less. At the grocery store we shop together discussing dinner and no one takes a second look. And yesterday we went ice skating together on a frozen lake with tons of kids from the school across the street sharing the same ice and not one person felt the need to shield the children’s eyes.

I am an American from Seattle, WA. My husband and I married last May in Vancouver, BC and then soon after we moved to Amsterdam, The Netherlands.  We are two married men and we just live our lives. The delivery guys didn’t care that we are gay when they dropped off our container from the states.  The neighbors aren’t worried about their children because we live in the building. My husband’s  co-workers don’t skip a beat when they see his spouse is a man.

In order for progress to come in America the laws must evolve.  In order for there to be a real change in the quality of life for LGBT people, attitudes must evolve. LGBT people must be able to go about their daily lives without being made to feel the other or less than. This is a change we cannot legislate, but must be brought about through personal relationships and one tough conversation at a time.

So thank you to those who are continuing to speak up.  Some day I want to move back to the states with my husband and for us to still be married when we get there.

Last night I had the opportunity to see La Commedia, a dance piece choreographed by Emio Greco & Pieter C. Scholten. I enjoyed it, I’m glad I went, but I wanted to love it and I think I had really high expectations/hopes.

Let me preface by saying that this piece was referential of the last three pieces the compact has done, none of which I have seen.  I don’t know whether or not that would have made a huge difference in my experience of La Commedia, but it is completely possible that it did. Nonetheless… here are my thoughts.

La Commedia features 7 dancers, each representing a day of the week as well as a Ring Master emcee who joins as a dancer toward the end.  Each dancer represents one day of the week and each one has an assigned virtue and vice. The dance is exploring Dante’s rings of hell using these 7 dancers as comedic clowns, and exploring societies obsession with being nasty/mean/cruel, but when it is done in the name of comedy it is deemed alright.  I love all of these high concepts, dancers as clowns, what do we get away with in the name of comedy. I love dance that is inspired by these high concepts, but I think I was put off by all the explanation around it. The dance opened with the Ring Master introducing each dancer/clown, telling us which day of the week they were, what their vice and virtues were and a little about the performer.  There is no way we can remember all the vices and virtues so it left me wondering whats the point, just show us.  I did not need the extended introductions.

The performers were all very talented, especially shining in the sections they all danced together, those were my favorite. Their individual movement seemed a little disjointed.  I wanted each day of the week to remain distinct, show us the vices and virtues rather than telling us all of them at once at the beginning, but I also wanted something referential. I guess there were so many times when elements didn’t feel like they were in the same piece, almost like dadaist piece which I don’t think is what they were really trying for.

Ultimately the show ended really strongly with day seven, Sunday, representing a pure decent into hell.  The music came down to a minimalistic accompaniment and the movers all seemed to be in the same pice for perhaps the first time.  And it was definitely the first time where the movement style and vocabulary seemed to fully reflect the day of the week.  But for me it wasn’t enough to save the overall thing.

I so wanted to love it, and instead I was left with the feeling that they were trying so hard, and just not there yet.  A week of rehearsals with a strong editing eye for everything, customer, music choice and volume, props, movement vocabulary etc… would have made a much stronger evening.

But here is to daring dance, and the privilege to enjoy it!